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All leaders talk, but it is what they say and how they say it that determines whether the group succeeds or fails.
Think about it: the leader’s most fundamental and most important job is to be in touch with those around him or her. Whether it is in the hallways or on the phone, in the middle of the workday or after hours, while delivering a performance review to a key employee or a yearly address to thousands of employees, leaders are involved in a constant series of conversations.
Through these encounters, whether brief and spontaneous or scheduled and structured, leaders try to use their time with colleagues, employees, customers, and others to reach a variety of ends. Grabbing a moment, the leader takes the opportunity to influence and direct a member of the sales staff. A weekly meeting becomes a chance to coach a manager and gather information about the department’s morale and its financial numbers. A quick e-mail checks on the progress of a research project and gives a boost of recognition and support to the team. During a strategy meeting, the leader negotiates next steps with division heads and outlines a coordinated approach. At a company awards ceremony, he or she tries to hammer home a message about values and goals. In short, the leader, through his or her conversations, aims to foster relationships, build support networks, and sharpen organizational focus.
Yet outcomes from conversations are too often unclear. Perceptions don’t always match. Influences are frequently not as profound as one would hope. Communication is generally a struggle with mixed, uncertain, and unpredictable results. Too much conversation is ad hoc and hinges on moods, energy levels, relationships, and personalities. Sometimes a leader is right on point. Sometimes he or she clicks and forges a new connection. Other times, the leader misses the mark. Either way, he or she pushes on, lining up the next meeting, setting up the next goal, responding to the latest need for clarification.
Communication is never easy. Inevitably, when a leader is driving change and dealing with conflicting agendas, some conversations provide a challenge that tests the bounds and skill of experience. During the heat of a difficult conversation, you need to fall back on a discipline. You need clear communication that advances agendas, promotes learning, and strengthens relationships. It’s the difference between achieving objectives and having everything fall apart—and the difference between winning and losing.
Imagine having to let a close friend know that he or she is off a project because of poor performance, yet wanting at the same time to preserve the strength of the relationship. Imagine having to make necessary structural changes to an organization, realigning roles and positions in ways that involve cuts in the workforce, yet wanting at the same time to bolster morale and organizational commitment. These are the difficult conversations that High-Impact Leaders face every single day, so what makes them different from any other leader?
High-Impact Leaders are the people who get results. They are the ones who make things happen. They are the leaders who are able to continually advance a clear agenda, get others to buy into it, and move an organization, a division, or a team forward. Being a High-Impact Leader has nothing whatsoever to do with title or rank, because High-Impact Leaders can be found up, down, and across any organization.
-Impact Leaders are the ones who cause no surprises. They are explicit, consistent, concise, and authentic. They sometimes have an abundance of charisma, but that is clearly not a prerequisite. More to the point, High-Impact Leaders are the ones who take charge wherever they are. They are the ones others want to follow. They are also the leaders whose teams others consistently want to join. When they move on to new roles or new territories, they do not travel alone. Others ask to go with them.
These conditions result because High-Impact Leaders use the technology of Powerful Conversations and then match what they say with what they do. Through Powerful Conversations, they develop openness, honesty, and clarity in order to get others to believe and share in their goals, to gain commitments, and to foster trust. And they prove they are worthy of that trust by delivering on their own commitments and by making results happen.
The link between Powerful Conversations and High-Impact Leaders lies in the relationship between two concepts I refer to as Say and Do. I have seen people skilled at the art of Powerful Conversations nevertheless fail as leaders because they fail to live up to their words. As a result, they never become High-Impact Leaders. I have never known a High-Impact Leader, however, who was not also skilled at Powerful Conversations, whether conscious of that designation or not. To be a High-Impact Leader, you have to be able to conduct Powerful Conversations on a consistent basis and live up to the outcomes of those conversations. Why is this important? It has to do with trust—without which conversations cannot progress toward the realization of commitments.
One of the most important functions of a Powerful Conversation is to create clarity, a critical success factor for building trust. I cannot tell you how frequently I have been involved in situations in which a leader, reflecting on problems that have arisen, says, “I can’t believe they thought I meant that. I never had any intention of doing that.” And the followers say something like, “It’s unbelievable. Our leader made a clear commitment to do this and now denies it was ever part of the agenda.” Both sides shake their heads. Barriers go up. Trust is reduced or nonexistent.
True clarity implies that a leader says exactly what he or she means in such a way that his or her statements are received as intended. This requires openness, honesty, and an active and careful tracking of wants, needs, and commitments. It furthermore requires that those clear statements be lived up to with demonstrated actions built on organizational trust.
High-Impact Leaders today lead in a better way because they recognize that the shortest path to achieving objectives is to build trust and gain clear commitments from others. Specifically, they engage in Powerful Conversations to uncover the wants and needs of others in order to understand what will motivate those people to join forces with the leader and live up to the commitments of a conversation. They skillfully orchestrate the Powerful Conversations in which they engage to make clear all parties understand the exact commitments that have been made. Then they check into those commitments and make sure through follow-up conversations that the commitments can be kept. They track the wants and needs of others and find ways to reinforce their own desire to understand the wants and needs of others, often through continued follow-up conversations. High-Impact Leaders do these things because they know that trust must exist if the leader is to achieve his or her agenda through Powerful Conversations to create positive outcomes for their teams and stakeholders.
by Phil Harkins
Over the years, I’ve seen that there is a lot of confusion around this topic – from what type of insurance is best to how much you need and where to get it. With that in mind, below are the five most common mistakes people make when it comes to life insurance. Hopefully, through this list, you’ll be able to get a better understanding of how life insurance works and why it’s a good tool for you and your family.
Mistake #1 – Having no life insurance at all
Many people simply overlook the importance of life insurance. It doesn’t appear to be something they need and it can be viewed as an added expense. But take a second to stop and consider all the important people in your life. If you weren’t there, how would they be impacted financially? It’s not fun to think about, but by “playing dead” you can begin to understand that life insurance is a critical tool to ensuring your family feels financially supported should anything happen to you. For instance, if you have any financial obligations, a life insurance policy will help to ensure that those burdens do not fall entirely on your family members and they can avoid starting a gofundme page in your name to pay for funeral cost. Remember, it is also important to get life insurance sooner rather than later because the cost goes up the older we get.
Mistake #2 – Relying solely on employer-provided workplace life insurance
Life insurance provided by your workplace is an excellent benefit and can serve as a good starting point for your basic minimum coverage. But remember any life insurance provided automatically from your employer is only good as long as you work with the company. Chances are you will not be with the same company for your entire working career either by choice or by force and the insurance does not go with you. You can purchase additional coverage through your employer or on your own to help fill the gap.
Mistake #3 – Only considering term life insurance
Term life insurance provides a “death” or “survivor” benefit, which is the amount beneficiaries receive if you pass away, for a certain period of time (15, 20 or 30 years are common increments), after which the coverage ends. An alternative solution would be to adopt cash value life insurance, which similarly provides a death benefit, but will grow over the years as long as you continue to fund the policy. Furthermore, cash value life insurance can help with financial obligations in a tax-advantaged way, whether it is paying for college, a business venture or retirement. These policies are generally more expensive, but can make a lot of sense if you are able to commit to regularly funding the policy.
Mistake #4 – Leaving retirement savings vulnerable
If you do not have any/enough life insurance, your family is likely to look to your retirement savings for financial support. This may seem like a safe solution for finding additional resources, but I would advise against using funds saved specifically for retirement for another purpose. If you are the higher earner in the family, your spouse may have been relying on those savings for his or her own retirement. Similarly, if your spouse is forced to liquidate or take large loans from the retirement account, it will hurt the potential long-term investment gains that would have benefitted your family down the road. It is important that the money you are saving is allotted for different goals – from life insurance to retirement – so that you are making the most of each savings opportunity.
Mistake #5 – Guessing on how much life insurance you need
Many people who walk into my office have no idea how much life insurance they need. Is it five times annual salary? Ten times? Some other figure? There are many factors to take into account to figure out how much life insurance is right for you. Often this is where a financial professional can really help with the process. We can help quantify how much and what type of insurance makes the most sense for you and then help get that coverage in place. There are also many online calculators available to use as a starting point.
At the end of the day, we all just want to know that our loved ones will be taken care of after we’re gone. I have seen firsthand the peace of mind a life insurance policy can deliver. So this month, as life speeds up again, take a few minutes to pause and think about the future. Life Insurance Awareness month may only last 30 days, but a good policy will last for years to come!
The level of abundance in your life in any area (love, friendship, success or finances) is a reflection of your inner state — what you hold in your mind and heart.
Want to create a healthy and loving wealth consciousness? Here are seven ways to transform your money mindset.
1. Forgive your past.
So many of our unquestioned beliefs and behavior patterns today around money are simply things we picked up at childhood or our past. They are not true and they don’t serve our highest good.
Forgiveness is a way to release them from our heart and energy field, so we are no longer blindly re-creating the same patterns and keeping ourselves stuck at the same level of abundance.
Grab a piece of paper and write down all of the painful memories you have around money –involving your parents, lovers, bosses or even yourself — that make you feel icky, stressed, anxious or frustrated.
Now, go through your list and practice forgiveness until you release the negative charge from each memory. You could try:
(a) Using a mantra such as: I forgive you. I’m sorry. I love you.
(b) Placing your hand on your heart and simply letting yourself feel the emotions that arise — giving yourself permission to feel them fully without attaching a mental story to them. Often as you let your feelings rise and observe them without judgement, they will naturally dissolve.
(c) Having compassion. Maybe your parents fought in front of you or didn’t have enough money and it caused you pain, but they were doing their best from their level of awareness — and they were probably re-creating the patterns they had learnt when they were children. Everyone is a divine loving inner spirit deep down — sometimes our true nature just gets temporarily obscured, like a cloud covering the sun.
2. Change your story.
The poet Rumi once said: “This world is like a mountain. Your echo depends on you. If you scream good things, the world will give it back. If you scream bad things, the world will give it back.”
He is referring to the Universal law of creation. Your inner world (thoughts, beliefs and feelings) creates your outer reality.
Do you find yourself saying or thinking things like: I’m so broke… Making money is hard… I’m always down to my last dollar… I never have enough… Wanting money is bad or greedy…?
Try changing your story around money. Start saying and thinking things like: I’m so blessed… I have everything that I need… the Universe always takes care of me… I give to the world and I receive… it is safe for me to have abundance… I am provided for.
3. Open your mind to infinite possibilities.
When it comes to manifesting, your logical mind can be your worst enemy.
It has a limited capacity to think beyond what it already knows, and it can be quick to tell you things like: Well, you can’t earn more from your current job, so receiving more money is, frankly, impossible.
When you have unexamined assumptions that you can only receive money in certain pre-determined ways — like a pay cheque from a day job — you block the Universe from finding other amazingly creative ways to bring you abundance.
Begin asking the Universe: What would it take for more money to flow to me? What would it take for me to get paid for being me? What would it take for creative ideas to come to me?
4. Practice gratitude.
The world is a reflection of you. When you look around your life and see and feel lack, the Universe receives the message to send you more lack.
So many of us suffer from a condition called Onlyness. We look at our bank balance and think: I only have $42. We look at our wardrobes and think: I only have these clothes to choose from. We look at our lives and think: I only have this much love, friendship, success, wellbeing or happiness.
When you start looking around your life and seeing everything as evidence of abundance, and feeling thankful and deeply grateful, the Universe sends you more abundance.
Look at your bank balance and think: Wow, I have a whole $42 to spend, that’s awesome. Look at your wardrobe and thank: Wow, I have warm clothes for my temple, how amazing is that? Look at your life and think: Wow, I already have this much love, friendship, success, wellbeing and happiness, and I am excited for even more. I am so grateful to be alive, adventuring in time and space, and I am going to soak up and appreciate every moment.
Bless your money as it goes in and out of your life. Bless it as you buy something as simple as your morning coffee. Pause and give thanks to the Universe for providing so much for you.
5. Create space.
When your life is full to the brim with old energy, memories and clutter, you are not symbolically or energetically creating space for abundance to come into your life.
Do a life assessment — look lovingly and honestly at your home, possessions, bank balance, love life, friends, career, leisure time, wellbeing and lifestyle.
Where are you not being true to your heart, soul and values? What needs to go in order for you to feel freer, lighter and liberated?
The more you remove anything that no longer serves you, the more space you create — physically and emotionally — for new people, opportunities and abundance to flow into your life.
6. Know your worth.
You are a divine spiritual being having a human experience.
You are the Universe experience itself through you. Your creator desires for you to experience endless happiness, peace and fulfillment.
Until you know your true nature and worth, you will probably experience feelings of guilt and doubt around receiving and abundance.
When you wake up to who you really are, you begin to realize that you are not here just to struggle and survive – you are here to love, create, expand and thrive.
7. Take small steps to cultivate the feeling of abundance.
Abundance is not a number on a bank statement, a large house or a luxury holiday. Abundance is a feeling.
Think about what abundance means to you. Does it mean freedom? Does it mean generosity? Does it mean indulgence?
When you know what abundance means to you, you can start taking baby steps to cultivate the feeling of abundance on a daily basis.
You can do this through visualization (imagining your dreams already being real) or by looking around your life and coming up with creative ways to feel the way you want to feel.
Maybe you feel abundant when you: spend a whole hour with a good book and a glass of wine; cook dinner for friends; have freshly washed hair and wear your favorite outfit; or carry a $100 note in your wallet. Start doing these small actions more often.
When you create the feeling of abundance within you, the Universe will pick up your new signal and start bringing you circumstances to match your new vibration.
Elyse Santilli Writer and life coach at NotesOnBliss.com, your guidebook to happiness and creating a beautiful life
Elyse is a writer, life coach and happiness teacher at NotesOnBliss.com and the creator of the Beautiful Life Bootcamp online course. She teaches people to align with their inner spirit, design a life they love, and expand their happiness and inner peace. For updates and inspiration, sign up now.